16

One of my new year’s resolutions was working on my food.  I was trying to focus on more healthy/clean somewhat of a Paleo kind of lifestyle.  I do have to say I haven’t been very successful trying to implement this type of lifestyle into my every single day, but I have been better on my eating overall.

I’ve had a few major aversions to eating a lot of meat lately.  A big tenant of the Paleo lifestyle is a good portion of your meals is protein, healthy fats, and loads of veggies.  Every morning for breakfast (except Pancake Saturdays), the kiddo and I have sausage and dippy eggs.  This holds me very well usually until lunch.  If I get too ravenous, I will have an apple microwaved with some almond butter.  At lunch, I can sometimes get a little more protein in me, but by supper I detest all meats and have had to try and find a more balanced way of getting good nutrition in for me but also preparing some meats for the two growing boys I have in my household.  I even hate going through the meat aisle when grocery shopping and I swear my hubby forgets when I tell him it is up to him to pick out the meat we need to eat.

Why such a strong aversion to meat you say? Well…

I think those pictures sum it up nicely, my bump really isn’t that big just yet, just looks like I have gained weight.  We are about 16 weeks out – I actually have a harder time remembering this time around if I really am 16 or 17 weeks.

Things that have happened in the last few months:

– major major major exhaustion. Like when the kiddo goes to bed at 8, I follow shortly after, it still hasn’t really let up yet, it’s not as bad but I’m still just overall tired.

– I have also realized that as much as I am so tired, I have yet to sleep through the night myself since I was pregnant with kiddo – so that’s about a good 28ish months of waking up at least twice each night.  I usually wake up each night around 1-2 and again at 4.

– I have terrible bouts of insomnia.  I hate waking up and seeing the 2 o’clock hour on the clock as sometimes it will mean that I am up for the next few hours being restless.

– Acne.  I had this with #1, and it’s not just on my face either, I have not seen my shoulders, back, and chest like this since I was a teenager.  With kiddo, it was just my face, it wasn’t the other places.

– Indigestion.  I’m very lucky with both that I am not really nauseous at all, but this time around I was having major stomach issues prior to getting pregnant (I was being checked out for an ulcer it was that bad) so I assume I just had more issues this time around as my stress level was just that much higher.  That means for me, burping way beyond anything that is normal.  Some foods really produced the indigestion more so (like the turkey I had at lunch yesterday), but sometimes it’ll be the ‘easy’ food that decides that day to be more gas producing.

– Running is still going alright.  My pace has slowed significantly.  If people have been reading my last few race posts, my races have been soooo much slower than what I like.  I still know what I can do, but my legs just don’t budge.  With #1, I stopped running at 20 weeks as it felt too weird but I also didn’t purchase good support.  I was very active with my last pregnancy, doing a lot of exercise classes, I did get a good band this time around which I hope to continue running as I don’t get out to do those exercise classes at all anymore.

– Food wise/Weight Gain: +3 pds.  Which this is where I compare most of the differences between Preg #1 and preg #2.  I was so very anal last go around, monitoring everything I ate, making sure I was still very active, and probably overall restricting way too much.  At this point with #1, sure I was a good 10 pounds lighter pre-preg weight, but probably gained about 3 pounds as well.  This time, I am only weighing myself at the doctor’s visits (minus the first month) and not being restrictive with what I eat but eat when I am hungry and just to make sure the foods have more value to them.  What I have noticed is that in the first month – when the ‘typical’ pregnancy should gain no weight – I gained 5 pounds very very fast.  When I saw my Doctor for the week 12 visit (the first one I get as I am very low risk) I had actually lost 2 pounds – so overall gain was 3, and now at 16 weeks, I am holding steady at +3 pounds.  To me it feels weird as I am eating a lot more now than I ever was yet my body is doing exactly what it should be, getting rid of the excess and keeping what it needs.  I have also told the Doctor that I do not want to be so weight obsessed this round (which I will chronicle as we go to mirror my last pregnancy) and if she has concerns she needs to tell me as I am going to let my body do what it will do as long as I am fueling with the proper foods, I will be okay.  That’s not to say I haven’t indulged, as I definitely have had more sweets than I care to admit, but overall I am feeling better about my nutrition.

– At the end of the day though, I do not enjoy being pregnant.  I didn’t with the first, and this time, to me, it is more apparent how depressed I get with the added hormones, weight changes, and of course I already have a dependent body needing me play and interact with him all day long.  I didn’t really understand it last go around, but I do this time and I am trying my hardest to be happier especially since the kiddo doesn’t understand what is happening right now anyways and why mom is so cranky and tired – sure hubby does but as I was reading a new book last night, a lot of men cannot deal with the emotional-ness of women and don’t want to see their partner’s upset so instead of gaging in conversation about said depression they would rather not and have that person deal with it by themselves.  This to me just means I need to branch out more towards my friends and family to get the emotional support – I’m not by any means saying hubby is off the hook as he isn’t – but I need to not be so afraid to discuss my issues with friends.  Yes, many do not have kids so do not understand exactly what I am going through, and some are able to be stay at home moms so also don’t understand the working mom issues, but I can’t be embarassed by how I feel.

Anyways – that was a long one for today!

 

Thursday March 27

The title of this makes it appear like a diary entry, well technically most blogs are basically a diary, so I’m okay!  Since my thoughts are all discombobulated, I’m going to do this in point form:

– 

This was our supper.  Yes, kiddo has to sit on my lap, and yes we share the same plate, and yes he had to have a side of corn on the cob (times 2), and yes he ate most of the noodles.  The most yummy part, however, was I made a chicken curry minus the chicken and subbed in portobello mushroom with kale and broccoli.  I loosely based it off this recipe.  Now, she makes really good stuff!

– 

My ‘new’ running area.  Now that the basement is that 98% finished, we’ve decorated ever so slightly meaning I finally got to hang up my medal hanger!  Truth be told, I still haven’t run in the last few days.

– Reason why I didn’t run yesterday? I had to pay bills over lunch and then when kiddo had to go to bed starting around 8:00 pm (which he held my hand, took me to his room, and said “bed”).  I believe we are past the crib stage as he refuses to go into it and so we have been putting him to sleep on the floor.  We have gotten into the bad habit that he lays with me while falling asleep.  Turns out I fell asleep too until I awoke at 8:45 and was like “Darn it!”, got myself back up for a tad, got on my pj’s and then went back to bed.  Now, we have gotten him a twin bed in the other room to transfer him onto a ‘regular bed’ but oh no, why bother sleep on a nice surface right? He likes to play on that twin bed, but doesn’t understand when I try to lay in there with him to say this is where we can go to sleep.  It’s sort of like the potty training issue – he refuses to sit on that little toilet for longer than 2 microseconds.  I just know potty training him will be ridiculous.

– Driving to work this morning I had to stop at a light.  No biggie, except it is a light that sometimes the green arrow will go first, and I had to go straight.  Honest to goodness, there was no green arrow this time but the person across from me turning left decided it was his turn anyways and went.  Good thing I am a fairly good driver and paying attention, but it did make me do a double take ensuring that I did, in fact, have a solid green for myself.  Crazy small town drivers!

– I am obsessed with looking at the weather right now.  More specifically what the temperatures will be on the weekend as I really want to get out there and stroller run.

Please, Spring, please, please make an appearance already!

Thoughts

Although I haven’t been 100% on the March photo challenge, here are some photos from yesterday:

Sorry it came out so dark, but we finally have lots of light towards the end of the evening.  But that is the kiddo watching his ‘minions’.  He absolutely loves Despicable Me 1&2.

 

Did a little cooking, was trying for tuna fish cakes, roasted Brussels sprouts and parsnips.  The Brussels sprouts and parsnips delicious, and well, the cakes just turned into a jumble mess.  Must be our lack of humidity, I’d say 1/5 times the cakes turn out like cakes.

Few thoughts that I have been thinking of lately:

– I really like organizing, getting rid of stuff, and making things appear neater.  We have finally (well 98.98989898%) finished the basement.  That meant we were able to go through the crawl space and go through some boxes and organize appropriately.  This meant that the hubby (who has a tendency to never get rid of things) finally threw out some things that he had been holding onto for 15+ years! I found myself so very very happy.  The only problem was when I was helping move a spare piece of carpet into the crawl space I really banged my head on the light fixture.  I now have a cut on my scalp.  Oh well, I didn’t cry!

– Speaking of clean up, I have an Apple computer so I have a reading list that I have added all the blogs that I do read – it is a lot.  I spent some down time yesterday going through them all and deleting ones that I really don’t ever read anymore, or their content hasn’t been what I like to look at for the last 5 months.  I rarely ever do this as you never know what they will post and if you will like it again!  I also deleted a few that had not been updating their blog in like 6 months.  Sometimes you wonder if 1) something horrible happens to them and that is why they don’t update or 2) they really did quit and just didn’t put up a statement that blogging for them is over.

– I have a kobo that I absolutely love, since receiving it last Christmas I have read over 80 books.  But with reading that many books, I’m getting low on new ones to read – anyone been reading a good book lately? Chances are I probably have read it…

– My Fitness Pal.  I went out to brunch with my friends and we got talking about food and diet kind of things, calorie total amounts, things like that.  Most of them really like to use it to gauge where they are and it has helped them lose weight.  Thinking about myself, and just even thinking about the last few months for myself, I really know that the calorie equation does not create success for me.  It really boils down to the quality of the food – ensuring that it is nutrient rich – for my needs.  I do need to make sure I eat enough for my basal metabolism but also the amounts that I do burn off when I am running way more than what I am right now.  I recently read a book called “The Calorie Myth” and how the author broke it down was sure you could eat 1800 calories of processed foods – and for example you could put rice cakes, crackers, chocolate, misc junk like that – and yes you have met your daily calorie total but your body only really needed about 33% carb calories, so all the other 67% of those calories you ingested just got put into fat cells, but you are still hungry because you haven’t met your body’s nutrient needs.  In the last few months, I have had a few things go on with my body and just what he was saying just made so much sense to me.  I will get into this a little more on Friday as this post has already been so much of me just blabbering on!

I Feel Lazy!

But in a good way so to speak.  I haven’t run since my race on last Sunday – the kiddo has been teething, I’ve been working like a dog, everyone at home has been a little bit cranky and so I have just been relaxing after the kiddo has gone to sleep.  The weather as well has not been so very nice.  After a week of somewhat nice temperatures, Old Man Winter said ‘I’m not finished yet” and we have gone back into the wrong side of nice…

Thursday, March 20:

It was still fairly nice out that I finally bought the kiddo some nice rubber boots so he could splash into the puddles.  Too bad I didn’t get the memo that winter isn’t over.

 

Friday, March 21:

To keep kiddo occupied, we’ve been playing ‘cooking’ which means throwing some ingredients into a bowl and letting him have at ‘er… the mess is pretty big but the quiet sanity is all worth it.

 

Saturday, March 22:

Kiddo is sitting right on me when we are playing the vehicle before I get the ‘worst mom of the year’ award, but man he is always watching what we do – he knows where the car keys go and he also knows to turn it… I was astounded.  If we ever play in the car again (which is very typical here) the keys will not be within arms reach!

 

Sunday, March 23:

We played at Grandma’s for a bit as kiddo wanted to ‘go’ somewhere.  It looks like a fairly nice day but I think it was still -10C.

Monday, March 24:

And then this is what we woke up to:

Hard to grab on this camera, but it is snowing… the snow didn’t stay, luckily, but still I wanted warmth to get rid of the snow/ice pads that are left.  Plus kiddo and I really want to go out in the stroller for a post work stroller run but you can’t do that when there is still a wind chill warning!  I swear on Saturday morning there was a windchill factor of -26!!! Not cool, Spring, not cool.

 

I will get off my lazy quarters today and either run at my lunch time at home or when the kiddo goes to sleep tonight.  My legs are starting to get the “I’ve got to get moving” kind of feeling.  Plus I signed up for two small races in April so I got to keep what conditioning I have going!

The Difference One Hour Makes

At work, I had a client who was, how can you say, a poop head.  In my line of work without getting into exact specifics, basically I do give advice and it is up to the client if they want to use it or not.  Usually, most clients either take my advice or leave the chair and question it later.  This poop head was one that had already determined that he knew how to do my job better than I could ever do, and the information I was giving was incorrect and it was because another person in my line of work several years ago gave advice that was, in the patients head, certified gold.  That advice was right at the time, but the client did not pick up what that person had said and there fore I will always be wrong in the client’s head.

Now, clients like this do not happen a lot.  I know how to handle them, but this poop head would not even listen to my explanation for 1) why I am doing what I am doing and 2) what the reasons are behind what is happening in this case.  He gave me a sour taste in my mouth, and I did get angry but the anger did not come out verbally, I just basically stopped the conversation as nothing I would say or do would do a difference in this case.

Fast forward to an hour later, I had the best client, who I do have a great relationship with anyways, have a great conversation, he listened to what I said, gave feedback, and we bantered a little bit, and it completely erased the sour taste in my mouth.

Just made me think how quickly a day can change, how moods can change, how just everything can change.  I can even apply this to my home life too, as the kiddo has been doing a few tantrums lately and I am having to try and deal with it, basically how scenario 1 was presented above.  Kiddo did not want his pj’s last night, he wanted to wear his day clothes to bed.  No matter how much I used my words, took off his day clothes (which just upset him even more to where he was doing those heavy sobs), tried to force the pj’s on (which accelerated the issue EVEN more), still tried to use my words without getting upset, this continued on for I think 30 minutes and I did get upset and showed my anger, to where his tantrum won, he got to wear his day clothes to bed.  To top this situation off, because of his sobs, he was so worked up, he didn’t want to go into his crib alone, but lay with me on the floor beside his bed – which I could do for a bit – but then I had to go and finish my activities for the night (like clean up/shower/ you name it), so when I thought he was relaxed enough I transferred him to his crib, but he didn’t want that at all.

I had to leave him in his crib and let him wail for a while until he fell asleep.  We have sleep trained so this isn’t anything new, but it’s like “Man, what is this kid’s issue today” is it new teeth? is it the new day care situation? But, kiddo can’t vocalize everything just yet, and when he does get upset he forgets how to use his words.  I also felt so bad/guilt as I did get upset back at him with the pj war, that once I was all done, I did get him and bring him into our bed so that he would understand that at the end of the day I do still very much love him and I didn’t mean to get upset at him for his tantrum.

Needless to say, I didn’t have a good sleep last night (my fault though) which may have lead into the poor cycle of handling the first client, but at the end of the day, I still know that no matter what I said or did with the first client it wouldn’t have made a difference anyways, but maybe I would have been more chipper and at least smiled at the guy.

 

Everyday is a new day to learn something new.

Photo Updates (Mon – Weds)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, March 17: Kiddo takes a turn foam rolling.  However, he wasn’t rolling, he was ‘buzzing’ his lips on it.  But of course, he stopped doing that the moment I turned on the video part.

 

Tuesday, March 18: Supper was spaghetti squash with goat cheese, olives, and tomatoes with a side of baked artichoke hearts (based on this recipe).  It was so delicious.  We didn’t have panko or parmesan, but we did have a little bit left over shake’n’bake and I added non-sweetened shredded coconut and it was so awesome.  I had also taken the can of artichoke hearts from my parents as when we were over there a little while ago, I was in their pantry and they had like 7 cans of artichoke hearts and i was thinking “My mom will not miss one of those cans seeing as she never cooks with artichoke” and I am sad that I didn’t take more!

 

 

Wednesday, March 19: This morning. I was taking some apples to work for my mid morning snack if needed, well kiddo thought they were set out for him.  I figured I would just give him one to have while we were getting things ready to get out of the door, but nope he wanted to take a few bites out of both…

 

Speaking of our day care situation, I think we have found a good fit.  Sure kiddo has cried a little bit each day I have left him, but the lady will text me saying each day he cries less and less and she will also forward pictures of their shinanigans through out the day.  So I am pleased.

At least one less thing to worry about right?

 

St. Patrick’s Day Run but on a Sunday

I had a fairly eventful weekend and when I was syncing up my phone to the computer this morning, I had taken 30 photos!  That in itself should be a sign that it was a great weekend.

Friday, March 14:

Right after work, I picked up some groceries and headed to our farm property.  After we ate supper, this was outside our window.  Four deers apparently also wanting some supper.   

 

 

On Saturday, March 15:

I do believe kiddo is starting to know what days of the week are what.  When he woke up on Saturday, he requested pancakes for breakfast.

We went into the city so I could pick up mine and my friend’s race kit for our race on Sunday.  This is where hubby had determined that my vehicle was either low or empty on power steering fluid.  Luckily, we picked up some fluid and filled it up a tad but something has to be wrong with my vehicle for it to run out of the fluid (and then for the smart motor system not to have the “check engine” light come on).  We also picked up a very small barbecue for our new house at Costco (among other things like diaper wipes).  Going shopping with the kiddo is getting harder and harder as he isn’t liking being ‘caged’ in the shopping cart any more he wants to roam which sometimes isn’t possible in certain stores like Costco.  Hubby also has OCD on keeping cars clean, so we wasted waited 45 minutes to clean my about to die car.  This was kiddo starting to get impatient:

 

I know, I know he doesn’t look so bad, but if pictures have sounds.  (Hey, aren’t those videos?)

Sunday, March 16:

The race didn’t start until 10 and Kiddo gave me a natural wake up call at 6:10.  We got a lot accomplished before I had to leave.  That included struggling to get his day clothes on:

 

Trying to take a photo together, but he thought it would be more fun trying to cover my face with the cloth he was playing with:

 

I then had to leave the house to go into the city and pick up my friend and then go run a little 10 K race.  The conditions were very nice. It was sunny out, not too windy, basically pretty perfect.  The race started very sharply at 10 am (which I love!).  They did give us warnings that a lot of parts of the path were icy.  I did not bring my traks as I had thought things would be pretty much melted in the city.  Was that the furthest from the truth!  The race was an out and back route in a fairly scenic area.  The first mile, mile and a half were great, I had a good pace of 9 min/mi, but that was not to stay.  After that the next who knows how much was so slippery, parts were not gravelled well and because you have a certain pace your legs don’t slow as fast as your head wants them to and you would catch yourself so many times.  I even had to stop and shuffle my feet over areas because it was just that bad.  At the end of the out portion of it, the turn around point was at the highest part of a hill – because I live in a very flat area and the treadmill I don’t play much with the incline (which yes I know I should) that hill killed me and I had to finished walking up it.  

You then turned around and went through the exact same thing until you hit the finish line.  Parts of it when you felt yourself catching your slips, I felt like I was bordering on vying for a Olympic figure skater part.  It was so crazy.  

I came to the finish line in 1:03:28.  

I was really shooting for under an hour, but considering the terrain and how many times I slowed, it was acceptable.  The only non-acceptable part was they didn’t have any bling 😦

Oh well, we went out to brunch where we had the store owner as our server.  Something went completely wrong with our order, it took over an hour to get our food.  The server said the kitchen was backed up, which I do assume in a sense, but it definitely wasn’t placed at the correct time as there were two other tables that showed up way after us (in fact those tables had previous ‘tennants’ that ate and paid for their food before the new ‘tennants’ came) and they got our food before us.  We were hungry people, so we were getting hun-ran-gry, and not that we would have accepted it, but the owner should have done something about the big delay in getting out food.

Got back to the farm, did some other things, and then towards 7:00 pm, got into the car to drive back to home as I work today.  We had a moon rise and I know the photo is terrible, but I love how your brain interprets the size of the moon when it is on the horizon, it appears so so so big!

 

And then onto today, Monday, March 17, St. Patrick’s Day.  

My car is in the shop seeing what the issue is with it.  I dropped of the kiddo at his new day care place, so I hope he does well there as I don’t know what else we will do if he doesn’t!  I also started to wonder why we celebrate St. Patrick’s day and have yet to ‘google’ it.  Maybe later

Hooray for the Weekend!

I know research has proved it, but when the sun is out, the temperatures are not freezing cold, everyone is just so much happier, myself included!  This weekend should be a fairly nice one.  I do have a race (10K) scheduled for Sunday and the forecast is potentially calling for a snow/rain mix but that may also clear up prior to the race.  I also have to try and remember to wear a tad of green as it is a St. Paddy’s day race after all.

Few things that I have been up to lately:

– forgetting to take photos

– I was ‘this’ close to running outside again yesterday but the winds were too drafty – I guess I am that runner who is slightly picky with the runs.  In my defence, when it is still this in between weather, there is still a bit of a windchill that is out there which makes the runs not so fun.  So I went on the treadmill for an easy 5.  I have a little DVD player set up to watch series while I am going and for the longest time I would listen to my own music and then watch the DVD with subtitles.  The other week I was thinking that I should just listen to the series.  Yes my pace has slowed but I was a little shocked as I have been watching “Pretty Little Liars” and I did not imagine everyone’s voices as they are.  Some are so low pitched, graspy, and then others are so high! And then there is one character that has an english accent to which I was the most shocked about.  I am a little interested in this series as I want to know who “A” is but I have to tell you I am very good at guessing plot lines and even guessing what people will say as it is a very cheesy kind of show.

– making parsnip fries and portobello mushroom pizzas.  This was so tasty but ate it too quickly to take a photo – even kiddo ate it up and he is a very picky eater.  I guess the most picky eater in our household is hubby, he refused to touch any of it.  I don’t even know what he had for dinner that night.  I’m thinking he just had candies…

– We are’this’ close to finishing the basement! We got the carpet put in on Wednesday which means we can actually go down there and do stuff.  There are just finishing touches like the cabinets, and you cannot go in the toilet down there either as hubby has hooked up the water as he has to take a line off of the sink which isn’t in yet.

 

Things I have been looking at lately on the internet:

– I have a tendency to compare myself to others – like when others do 200 mile months and I struggle to get 40.  I really do need to put myself into a better perspective: http://www.enjoyyourhealthylife.com/2014/02/25/you-are-not-diminished-by-others-success/

– Apparently I did not save the URLs I was looking at… I was adding them to a word sheet so I could at the end of the week as some were very interesting, don’t know where it went!

 

Embracing Spring!

I think for the next few weeks, my postings will be a little sporadic.  Things are starting to calm down on this end, but I know that if I relax too much everything will start to boil over once again.

Remember my photo challenge? Neither do I. But I did snap a few in the last few days.

Monday, March 10:

 

Always nice receiving a package at work!

Tuesday, March 11:

 

Went for a run outside as it was +3 out! Love this spring weather.  I know we will get one more dip into the cold side but I still will take what we get.

 

Watched Julie & Julia. I love subtitles even on english speaking movies.  Hubby hates this.

Wednesday, March 12:

 

So, Tim Horton’s is doing their yearly ‘Roll up the Rim to Win” so this is the only time I usually drink their coffee as I, cue the most dis-patriotic Canadian ever, hate their coffee.  It is so bitter, always tastes like they burned the beans, and I never win.

Selfies are so hard.  I didn’t ‘proof’ the one I did on my run and I don’t like it, I smiled way too big and so I had major wrinkles around the eyes – I know we are our own worst critique but still!  Oh well.

I was really nice to run outside yesterday, it felt so good to breathe air that wasn’t freezing your lungs.  I have a race scheduled for Sunday and i always get the cold feet with these winter races as last week it was still -30 and unbelievably cold.  I have a friend who lives in the city where the race is held and they have had even warmer temperatures than us and almost all of the snow is melted in the area that we will be running! I’m so happy and excited for Spring/Summer to be here.  Where I live, we still do have a lot of snow but most of the trails are fairly clear except some sidewalks up to the trails.  This became an issue when I was on the return way as it was closer to a time where more people were coming home from work.  I had to run on the street as I live in a newer area so lots of houses are still being constructed and we have a lot of people who live there too but do not feel they need to shovel their sidewalks.  I had to ‘race’ against cars when I approached some very big puddles so I didn’t get drenched!

 

This wasn’t from that day, it was from mid January when we had an usual warm snap that created oodles of puddles, but that basically looked like my street that I was running on.

I had another night away from the kiddo and hubby last night which was because hubby had to do more things out at the farm, and I always feel like a bad mom when I say that I really needed those last few days to myself just to really really unwind and relax – something that I can’t do as kiddo is always on and needs stimulation.  I do feel recharged and am excited to leave work today as I will see my family.  I hope kiddo has a big hug waiting for me.

Starting the Week Anew?

To start things off, I have already failed my March Photo conquest.  I forgot to take pictures Thursday, Friday, and Sunday.

I did take on Saturday March 8:

 

The weather has hopefully turned for the better (ie. Spring) and so due to kiddo’s incredible crankiness all weekend long we spent an hour outside doing a bit of a sleigh ride and then playing on some playground equipment.  Today when I woke up it was already 0 out!!

 

I really hope my stress levels from last week and beyond start to decrease. That might not happen for a tad as we already have to find new childcare for the kiddo.  You may remember last week I had posted that we found a day home for him and I felt really good about it.  After his first day, I went to pick him up and he was happy, was still enjoying playing with their toys, the day home provider said it was a great day, sure he didn’t nap but he was an ‘easy’ kid.  Fast forward to the very next day Thursday, he was a crank the entire day.  It started when I dropped him off he didn’t want to let me go.  I somewhat expected this as that happened last year when we had initially changed things up.  I knew that this would probably happen for a few days but he will then get used to the new arrangements and be okay.

When I picked him up on Thursday, you could tell he wasn’t happy.  He was cuddling up on the couch with one of their blankets and as soon as he saw that it was me he was all “mommy, mommy, mommy” and grabbing his outer wear to leave.  The day home provider said it was like this all day and my kiddo hit her kiddo twice.  The way she stated it, it sounded like my kiddo did it on purpose and more hard.  When I got home as I was placing his diapers from small wet bag to the big wet bag (we do cloth) I realized he hadn’t pooped all day, which my kid is really really really regular.  So I figured it was a little that among other things like possible two year molars trying to make an appearance.  That night hubby came home from doing his work and said he would look after the kiddo the next day anyways even though I wanted the kiddo to go back to get used to it.

Then late Saturday night, I get a message from the girl essentially stating my kid isn’t a good fit.  I know my kid is a handful, he is a very high-needs type of kid.  I know part of our issues is that we have just had one on one kind of help since he was born (for the exception of about 7 weeks of playing with other kids) but he can really be a handful.  I know having a cranky kid all day long isn’t fun and especially when it isn’t your own kid.  I felt a huge surge of stress when I saw that message (which was at 4:00 am as kiddo woke up screaming from either a nightmare or teething) and was like ‘How could she do this to me!’.  But, then I did calm down and as much as the parent should feel if the environment is a good fit for her kid (which I really did think it was) the provider should also say so too.  If my kid is too much to handle, I would rather her tell me know instead of letting it go on and then she gets upset at the kiddo and something else happens to him.

So this week, I have to furiously find a new day home for him which I am worried that this is just going to repeat itself (the providers not liking him) forcing us to do another nanny situation which I just know with our odds will turn into a 3 out of 3 girls getting pregnant.  We will have to do that eventually anyways, but it is quite expensive.

The only silver lining (if you can call it that) is that yesterday, hubby took kiddo to the farm to have his baba look after him for two days while hubby works giving me some needed time to myself.  I got to work out yesterday when I wanted to (a little 5 mile run on the treadmill — and today due to the lovely weather, after work I am going to run OUTSIDE!!), I got to sleep in this morning, although once I was ready for work I was quite lonely as I had nobody to speak with or provide breakfast for or anything like that.  If you can believe it, last night was my third night away from the kiddo in all of his 21 months of existence on earth.  Tonight will be #4.  It’s crazy to think that that is all I have allowed kiddo to be away from me, which probably also adds to his mommy issues when I have to leave him at a day home so it is all connected.  Therefore at the end of the day, I am to blame for his issues! Ah well, tis being a mom.