I can never get enough of it.  I have been stressed out due to multiple factors, my kiddo has yet to give me more than a 5 hour stretch.  Okay, Okay, he has TWO times but I still woke up at the regular intervals (they call it ‘mommy insomnia’).  I know this all plays into how my body is just stressed out and, to me, falling apart.  I think I have taken off about a month of cardio – I have not ran in a long time.  I have been doing Tina’s best body boot camp, and so I am doing the strength component and getting the heart rate up.  I did do this slightly intentionally.  It started off not – it was raining, broken treadmill, excuses, excuses, but then I thought to myself I should stop for a bit to see if that helps destress my body.  I feel like I have gained like 10 pounds in a short amount of time.  I have not weighed myself since sometime in summer so I am not sure.  I do know most of my pants are tight, I had to go up in a size when I bought new clothes (which I hate to do and drops my self esteem).  And when I get to look at photos of myself, I look so puffy!!!!

I know lack of sleep adds stress to the body so the cortisol is probably to blame for my moon face.  I also feel that my hormones are out of whack for multiple reasons.  I am getting acne on my BODY which hasn’t happened since I was a teenager.  I do have an appointment with my general doctor to get some blood work, but I am afraid they are going to say “Well you are still breast feeding, still not getting quality sleep, and you don’t have a family history of thyroid issues, not to mention stress factors a & b [which I won’t get into those as I can’t for confidentiality reasons].  They still will run the panel, but I am almost betting I won’t get a phone call back saying they are abnormal.  The factors will be within a normal range.  They always are.  

I have to wait about three week until I can get in, so until then I guess I just have to work on trying to de-stress my life.  Which I don’t think will happen for a few months if not more.  I am seriously contemplating sleep training, which is also stressful, I hate hearing my kiddo cry especially at night and especially too when he just wants to be close and cuddled.  Who wouldn’t want that! What is so wrong with that! But everyone does have their own views on baby sleep, to each their own.


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