Where we had left off was at the one year mark. He was doing quite well, to me, and I was getting a little bit more sleep, even if it still was broken up.
At 14 months, we were at the lake, and hubby said ‘No more, we have to do sleep training again.’ So fine we did. The first night, yes there were tears, not too bad, but this time I was not going to be going him until – according to hubby – the morning time. So at the first wake up, he cried for about an hour, after he went back to sleep, I checked just to make sure his diaper was clean. It wasn’t, he had pooped, so I tried very hard to clean up the diaper without him waking, it was semi alright, he did briefly wake up cry for another 5 minutes and then go back down. He woke up again probably near 3 am, and I did go to him because I was very engorged. That is what happens when you night feed… We repeated it again the next night, with a wake up around 4:30, and very similar the next few nights. The hubby doesn’t, well I feel he doesn’t, listen to when I try to tell him if we night wean I will want to do it in a specific way, cut out one feed every so often as I need to watch myself for potential issues (plugged ducts, mastitis) and the kiddo will wake up at certain times as he is used to getting some form of nutrition throughout the night. Hubby got angry/upset that I was still going to him and basically said “Well we are going to have a kid in our bed until he is 18” which of any co-sleepers, you know this is not true.
We continued along like this until we moved into our new house. He did have regressions – they all do – but he still was doing a good 2-3 hours in his own bed before I brought him into our bed. Sure, yes it wasn’t ideal, but I didn’t mind. This is where my “I am a working mom” mindset is skewed that I need to try and be with him for more than I can handle because if I don’t, then it will either show that I don’t love my child enough, or my child will not grow to love me enough. I know that isn’t how it is, but that is how I felt.
At 17 months, we had finally moved into the new house and that was hubby and my ‘end point’ for getting kiddo into his own bed. In my head, I had decided to cut out one night feed a week. The first week make it to 1 am, the next 3 am, and now we are at the 5 am. Because hubby is strict in a sense, I have been spending the rest of those nights on the floor in kiddos room. I know, I know, it sounds terrible, but we have really nice carpet and I do like a firmer-ish mattress. To me, the co-sleep has been very nice for lots of reasons and so this experience has been to wean him off as well to wean myself off. I miss having kiddo in the bed, and when we get there I will miss waking up and having him so happy to wake up right there. Yes we will get our new baseline and things will be just as good but I have to come to terms with it myself. The 5 am wake up is proving to be the hardest so far. We have had a few regressions to the 3 am wake up – I think there are some fussy/growing stages at this age, but we are working on it. I have to keep reminding myself that I want a full night sleep of 8 hour not interrupted. It’s funny the nights he has slept until 5, I have woken at 1 or 3 or some hours like that.
Sleep training is a hot debated topic, even within your own household (I should know!) but you have to do what is best for you and your family, I firmly believe that and do not judge anyone as I never ever thought I would be a co-sleeping mama still breast feeding at 17 almost 18 months ever! But that is what I have become.