Another Just Put it All Out There

1) I can’t believe it is Friday.  This week went by so quickly and I had the weirdest stuff walk into the office that I could have sworn it was a full moon out, but nope just a new moon so that doesn’t explain much this week at all

2) I can’t believe it is already January 31 of 2014.  Already 1/12th done the new year.

This post is going to be a lot of mumbo jumbo things in my head that have been swirling.  I again apologize for the sheer length of all type and no photos; it has just been one of those weeks.

Last weekend (which I don’t think I mentioned it on Tuesday when I recapped my weekend), but I was supposed to have two playdates that weekend.  The first went great, but the second one was to be with a friend that I have known for years and years, it always takes us a very long while to get together but I always enjoy it.  I have found in the last while that unless she needs something from me, I am always the one contacting her. Not that big of a deal, sure it may mean something, but she is a mom and I am a mom and sometimes the days just go by and it is like I could have sworn it was only Wednesday.  When I look back at our planning – I know I’m overlooking/thinking into it – I just don’t know if it is becoming more of an acquaintance instead of a true friend.  I had left a message on one day, two days later I get a response, so I respond right back, but don’t get another message again saying it is either alright that we will meet at said time (actually I had given her two choices) or if another time would be better.  I didn’t get a response from her until 30 minutes before a potential time.  Things changed very quickly on the weekend that we didn’t spend a lot of time in our house because of the basement situation, so I said I would have to reschedule and had offered the next day instead.  But of course, the next day was no good for her but she didn’t give me a date that would be better.  I’m pretty flexible (I don’t do a lot 😉 ) so I can be pretty accommodating to the busier person, but you have to give me notice.

I felt bad in one sense as I had given her that time to begin with but after not hearing from someone for three days after giving a choice, should I really feel bad? And true too, if it is only me contacting is this really a friendship I should be savoring? Another factor to it is we work in the same field and so are in direct competition with one another – that is life, every job has competition – so I don’t know if that is also why she is more aloof.  I never talk about business with her anymore since I moved into the area, but I just don’t know.

Another little rant I would love to get into is my nanny situation but I don’t feel comfortable blabbing that all out to the internet.  It could potentially become very controversial and that’s not what I would be intending for it, it would be more so for me to vent it off my chest as this is the second time I’ve gone through this and I just can’t believe how naive I was, again, for the second time it happened.  (Pregnant nannies on work permits, that’s all I will divulge for now)  My head doesn’t make sense of what my government does for people in this country.

To switch over to another thought, when I went to the running track on Wednesday, I felt a little more like myself than I have in a long time — getting out of the house, doing something a little more social (although how social can one be running on a track right?) but it made me think I really do need to get out of the house even just one night of the week, even just before we put the kiddo down to preserve some of my sanity.  When I got to the gym, there are these courses that are going on that I would always do before having the kiddo and the instructor was saying how much they missed me and they understand why it is hard to get back, but it’s like man I just want to go do a class!

I did go back yesterday at my lunch hour and did a 5 K.  I’m a little amazed, my pace on the treadmill has been slowing lately – like down to a 10 min/mi pace, but on the track, with the 5 miles I did I was under 9 min/mi, and yesterday’s 5K was also a the 9 min/mi mark.  Just that extra spark to my step.  I was going to go again at lunch time since I had extra time, but I decided against it, my legs are a little tight and I do want to run outside tomorrow (regardless of the weather – I need to train some outside for the winter run that will happen in three weeks…)

Enough words for now!  Have a great weekend.

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Thinking Out Loud #5

I can’t believe it is Thursday already! And of course because it is Thursday I am going to link up with Amanda over at Running with Spoons to add my few cents of miscellaneous thinkings over the last few days.

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– I first had to look past at previous posts.  I first titled this #3, then #4, and then I saw that “Oh wait, I already did #4 last week”.  Cue #5!

– You’d think with that kind of start that I had a pretty rough night, last night wasn’t so bad, I did sleep from about 8:45 until 5.  It was yesterday that the kiddo decided he wanted cuddles at 3:30.  We ended up sleeping on the floor with him on my chest until he finally wanted to wake up at 5:30.

– I’ve come to the conclusion about kiddo’s sleep pattern.  He doesn’t need as much overnight sleep any more – 10 hours max it seems – which I am fine with.  For the last little while I was debating on pushing back his bedtime from around 7 until 8 so that he would then wake up at 6 instead of 5, but then I decided against it.  I have no issues with always waking up at 5, then I can get my run on the treadmill after he goes to bed.  I was thinking about getting up before he does to run, but that won’t necessarily work as 1) who knows when he will wake up and 2) he hates when I shower (seriously…) and 3) I may want to do a longer run than what I have in the morning so it just won’t work!

– Last night, I went to the indoor track at our multiplex and did 35 laps to complete 5 miles.  Did I ever feel like a hamster on a wheel – even though you get those same feelings when you are on a treadmill.  I had to go to the track as my treadmill is currently wrapped up in plastic as we are getting the drywall finished in the basement.  That means our basement is “this” much closer to being a real basement!!!

– Speaking of the multiplex, we went there on Monday so that I could run on the treadmill while kiddo and hubby spent time running around this one pad. I wanted to upload a video but it says it is in the wrong format.  Boo that!  He looks so happy just running and throwing the ball and playing with other kids! I wish we could do that more but our caregiver situation, she doesn’t have a drivers license so she can’t…

– Also speaking about treadmill runs, when I do run on my treadmill, I have a dvd player on it and lately i have been watching Pretty Little Liars.  It dawned on me that all these ‘highschooler’ shows have them just downing the coffee.  Like all.day.long!  I know there have been reports now that caffeine does not stunt your growth, but really how can one test for that!

 

That is enough ramblings for now I think! Enjoy your Thursday.

A Day in the Life

I did not take as many photos as I had wished to document this day, but I actually did take quite a bit.  Without further adieu, here was my Saturday:

5:08 am: Hear kiddo complaining, drag myself out of bed.

5:15 am: Start to make pancake Saturday!

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Time stamp is 5:46, it takes a while to create pancakes from scratch!

6:00 am: Begin eating the pancakes

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7:00 am: Kiddo wants to ‘go’ and getting very angry about it too, quickly think there is a grocery store that opens at 7, will go get groceries.  Forgot phone at home, didn’t take photos, only thing to note is I didn’t check my eggs before putting it in my basket and I picked up one with TWO brokens eggs, luckily the clerk checks and got me another dozen.  Kiddo was polite and waved goodbye.

8:15 am: Hubby got two people to start the drywall in the basement, it is LOUD.  Kiddo not too happy about it and is quite scared by the noise.  Trying to figure what to do about the situation, where can we go? I did have  a playdate lined up but not until 11.  I decided maybe we can go shopping, so…

9:00 am: Get back into car to drive to shopping area, didn’t really work, kiddo fell asleep.  He is only on one nap a day, that’s all he needs but apparently he needed to sleep.  So I drove around for probably 45 minutes – such a waste of time! – and then came back to our house as I had decided to grab an item that was at our house to drop off at my parents before heading to the playdate.  Some how time morphed very fast and all of a sudden it was

10:40 am: Drive to playdate.  Even though I live in a small enough city and I know the area very well, I still googled their address before I went, I thought it was a tad odd as it showed that she lived across the railroad tracks.  When I started driving I had written down a wrong number, I ended up at a church, which I knew she also did not live there! Thank goodness for cell phones and internet capabilities as she gave me the proper number.

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The purpose of this playdate was that I am needing to set up a day home when my current nanny goes on her mat leave (I will probably talk about that in an upcoming post – I have a few things I would like to get off my chest before they drive me insane!).  The kids really liked each other – the other one is a 7 month old so really how much could he really like the other one. Kiddo gave this baby lots of hugs and kisses!  We were sold.

12:30 pm: Leave playdate, go to Mom and Dad’s, hope they have food for us.  They do, so we eat and play.  Both my parents have been feeling under the weather so they didn’t want us to get too close, but really how can you stop that.  Kiddo absolutely loves cats and my parents have one – she’s a ragdoll? cat so lots of white hair and this one is a spazz attack.  We went on a hunt for the cat, found the cat, kiddo slapped petted the kitty, kitty hissed, hunt for cat over.  My mom also loves birds, so we went into the ‘bird’ room, she has one canary and two budgies.  She let the budgies leave their cages to fly around – boy oh boy did kiddo love that! You can also try to grab the birds to hold but they don’t really like human contact as much anymore, but kiddo really wanted to hold them.  After that we joined Grandpa outside (as it was like +7 out!) to shovel their driveway.

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He is doing it the wrong way but we didn’t tell him that.

3:15 pm: It was getting late and kiddo did need to take a nap which I was hoping to do at home but within 5 seconds:

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So I drove around for another hour… I complained to hubby that very morning that I hate driving around for naps unless we are going to the city as it is such a waste of my time.  It was so beautiful on Saturday I wanted to run outside during his nap, but nope, no can do said the universe. TWO NAPS IN THE CAR IN ONE DAY! Blargh.  Anyways. I decided to stop driving at…

4:00 pm pull into our house.  The drywallers are still going crazy and didn’t stop until like 7:30!  This is where my picture taking did stop and my memory is fuzzy.  I know we had supper — actually now I remember, my sister had invited us over to have a turkey dinner at her place.  She is notorious for doing multiple things at the same time.  She had booked a photography session and the supper at the same time.  We showed up at her house at…

6:30 pm which supper was supposed to happen at 6.  She was still not there… she had put the turkey in the oven and it was ready so we prepared all the side dishes and began to eat, we sort of had to because the kiddo was starving and needed to go to bed.

7:30 pm hubby took kiddo back home to go to bed while I stayed and played some rummikub.

9:30 pm: The latest I have stayed out/up in a long while.  I quickly got ready for bed and my head hit the pillow probably at 9:37 pm.

Resolutions Part 4

Now onto my last post about my resolutions.  I had this in the draft box for quite sometime.  After reading another post (which I link later), I knew I had to get this out of draft and into reality.  There is a reason why I hesitated to even place this as a resolution, but I need to.  [If interested, see Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3]

Now onto last but not least Part 4) Personal Issues

In reality, this should be number 1, you can’t really work through the other issues without first working on yourself, but this is the hardest one to work on and that is why it is usually pushed to last.  Some days I’m the happiest girl on the block, some days… not so much.  I can attribute a lot of my mood swings to the kiddo [lack of sleep, lack of freedom, lack of free arms] and to my diet (I swear when I overeat the sugar I get the angry sugar snaps), but that still isn’t an excuse.  I want to work on things about myself that I haven’t really liked or ‘pushed’ down deep within myself that has made me that unhappy girl.

Being a mom, it is hard to put yourself first – my typical day starts very early, I would love to rejoin this 5:30 am PUMP class, but I can’t because I don’t get to spend a lot of time with the kiddo during the day, but a happy mom does mean a happy mom.  Even after work, I obsess myself with the kid, I would like to run earlier in the night than I do so that my adrenaline levels drop down before I go to bed as I think it would help me sleep better, but I just can’t do it.  And I need to take that “I just can’t” out of my vocabulary.

I want to work on my body image, there are things I still want to change about it, but I also have to learn to accept parts of the body that will most likely never change.  I came across this website today, the sentence that I liked the best was:

healthy bodies are and always will be most attractive

 

Because of the Victoria’s Secret Models, because of the moms that bounce back so quickly after childbirth, a naive first time mom really can get her head skewed to a terrible way, add that into my already disoriented self view it doesn’t help the situation any.

Like I said, although this is the last resolution, I really would like to give myself an honest chance by trying really hard to put myself first and to work on those inner demons.

Thinking Out Loud #4

These weeks really do fly by! Since it is Thursday, I am once again linking up with Amanda over at Running With Spoons.

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1) No small fact that I live in a small city.  Our city has like 15 sets of lights.  My daily commute consists of one three way stop, two sets of lights, and one four way stop.  My biggest gripe about my commute is the four way stop.  I really believe my little city needs a reminder of how these work.  So many times I notice it as a ‘race’ in who can step on their brakes the fastest, or if you can remember if I was truly stopped or just feathering on my brakes, but I’m pretty sure I still stopped before you did even though the person in front of me just went, that still means it is this lanes turn… I could go on about the four way stop shinanigans.

2) The part I hate the most about being a boss is giving reprimands.  I had to do that this morning and I always gets the nervous shakes with it.  I know it needs to be done, that person needs to do their job correctly, but I still feel like I’m the one who is in the wrong!

3) We had a family dinner last night at our house.  My dad brought over burgers, we don’t have a barbecue [side note as I was proof reading I initially spelled this word as barbeque – guess there is no q except when you do bbq…] yet as there is no deck to put it on so we had to make due with first trying to pan fry them.  Holy geez, smoke galore! We then baked them in the oven, but we really learned that you do need to cook hamburgers on the barbecue, inside the house is just no place for that kind of grease smell.  We woke up this morning with the smell still lingering!

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Little kiddo loves playing in the ‘bam bam’ room aka the unfinished basement.  He even found a good working stool to sit at and a good bench (couch) to work at.

5) My sister and I played a game of rummikub.  It’s this game based on Rummy but placed with these cubes, the scoring is quite weird, but I was getting tripped out with how each hand our values were the same but switched between + and -.  I was doing it by mental math but I had to get out the calculator as it was seriously making me doubt my math skills!

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6) And just because:

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Running Playlist 01/22/14 Version

I really like perusing other blogs to see what kind of tunes pump people up.  I also like to steal some of their playlists, add them to my own and see if I can get more pumped up too.  I am like the biggest music affectionado out there.  I do, almost religiously, go onto ITunes weekly to see and hear the new music, see what is on the top 100 singles, and as well see what the free single of the week is.  A lot of times that free single isn’t necessarily worth it, but i have gotten some sweet gems from there.

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I really hope that isn’t too small.  I always have my listening device on shuffle so it doesn’t matter about the flow of them.  This week on ITunes it had “Artists to look out for in 2014” and I have to say a lot of those artists I do hope are successful.  I found some good tunes for them – not a lot pump you up make sure your pace is at 189 bpm but still alright for the slow steady runs.

I’d like to compare that to my 25 most played list:

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I moved columns just a tad to show that some of those I really have listened to them way too much.  On average, I probably listen to a song about 30 times before it gets retired, but some of these were apparently to good to give up!  That last one is probably really tiny, I’m sorry for that!

I may have to post this and the edit if I am forcing everyone to use magnifiers!

Weekend Catch Up

I really do need to be taking more photos.  It was a pretty gorgeous weekend, great temperatures, we got to go outside for a little bit, but nothing, not a single photo from the weekend! How is that even possible.

Like I said, it was really perfect outside on Saturday, I think it was even plus weather.  I took the kiddo on a little sled walk around the neighborhood, I was starting to get tired of doing all the work, getting cold so we went back home, and boy can a toddler do a tantrum.  He was not liking the going inside business.  It was basically time for nap, so we put him down.  I was like “this” close to going and running outside, but I decided against it.  #1) my cold is in the finally stages where things are deciding to clear out, so on the walk I was coughing quite a bit due to the air and #2) I decided to have a glorious two hour nap while the kiddo napped.  It was great.

I love naps when I can.  I don’t usually like to take them as it can affect my night sleep, but you know when you just feel so comfy that you know you need to lie down and take a breather.  I in fact did this three days in a row.  All of them glorious.  [I am back at work today and I was seriously contemplating about how I would be able to get another nap in today but I decided against it].  None of these naps affected my night sleep, I still went to bed at my normal bedtime of early’o’clock, so I guess I really did need them.

Fast forward to Sunday, because it was such a nice day on Saturday, the snow got a bit of a melting situation but the thermometer once again said that it wasn’t done with winter yet and turned back to freezing.  We went outside again on another sled walk; this time; however, it was ridiculously slippery.  I took my time made sure my footings were good, I didn’t fall but man was my butt really sore the next day!  I admit, I am still not doing a lot of cross training these days.  I have high hopes but they never materialize. I do know that if I did workout other muscles than the running muscles, I’m sure those gluteus muscles would not be so sore!

All for now, and I seriously (like always) promise to try and take more photos.