Now comes Part 3) Wife Plans.
My hubby and I haven’t even been married a year — yes we did do baby first then marriage — and already I feel like we are that incessantly yelling arguing not working together kind of a couple that I see my parents and his parents do and what I don’t like. We have gotten into a bad cycle of not really listening to each other and just doing what we, individually, feel is right.
Let me back up a tad.
Hubby and I have been together since 2010, we met online and moved rather quickly, we moved in together at 6 months, and got engaged at 1 year (which was a complete surprise to me as I was about to be moving to another city to work at a business I had just bought into and so I thought him and I were going to be ‘seeing how things go’ as we lived in separate places – but nope!). He considers himself no longer a spring chicken – he is only 5 years my senior – and wanted to get working on the baby right away, I said alright and a year and 5ish months later came kiddo. Now I haven’t really alluded to this in the blog but hubby and I do have two places of residence, one here and one there, he has a business there and I have a business here. Each of us in the last 19 months [probably me more so] have become a little more stubborn in how we want to deal with the future. I have done the bulk of the ‘bringing up baby’ and I am tired in more ways than one and so we are really at an impasse. This dual living spaces adds such an element of stress to the situation and it definitely does play into our lives.
In my head, I find that I say to myself I have done so much MORE sacrifices than him that he should be the one to do the next sacrifice, but that isn’t really how a marriage works, there is no 50/50, there will never be 50/50. So this year I really want to try and work on ways to become a better wife and essence become a better person. I want to try and find ways of getting through to one another so we don’t rip each others throats out because one of us left the toilet seat up and then kiddo plays in the toilet water or the other one of us does the dishes and leaves the knives up instead of down which could be a potential hazard to some kidlet reaching.
It’s not healthy and over the long term will push us apart instead of driving us together. Now I may sound dated or judgemental, but back in the ‘olden days’ people worked at their relationships and didn’t just give up. As much as I wouldn’t like to admit, I have thought of just giving up the last little while, but that isn’t what I want to do. Anyways, now there’s a little honesty in this post! [not that my others aren’t, I’m 95% truthful 😉 ]