The cataclysm that was last week was a business deal that was set in motion three years ago. You can only prepare so much with what has already been written on paper, but sometimes it is the people that just don’t act accordingly.
I’m starting to think this post is going to be a jumble of a mess.
The deal itself was a stressful time. I had several lunch meetings, back and forths with the lawyers, I felt I had no time to myself as the kiddo was getting back into a very clingy stage, our nanny who is pregnant was going to be going on her maternity leave early, I couldn’t really talk to a lot of people about a lot of the situations due to the nature of them, and I just felt like I needed to scream.
I tried really hard to keep myself active, do a few runs here and there. My total mileage for February was I think 40… which when I try not to compare myself to others is what a lot of runners complete in a week. I know their situation is not mine so it is unfair for my head to compare me to that. I even signed up for a 10 punch pass to the gym so I could go on my lunch hour to get back into the weights. I have only gone once – but I do plan to go more now that I have a big ‘weight’ lifted off my shoulder.
On top of that was our nanny situation. I had to find another place for the kiddo which I did and am very happy with whom I chose. The hubby likes to change his mind at the very last minute with anything we do which adds another level of stress to my already large stress load. He had us check out a few more areas before finally conceding that my original choice was alright (it still might not be the right choice in his mind but I felt very good picking up kiddo yesterday from the new place). The nanny itself is not a fun situation. It comes down to another ‘compare’ situation where, yes I live in Canada so you would think I would be eligible for our 1 year maternity leave. You would actually be incorrect as I own my own business therefore do not qualify for the mat leave and have to come back fairly early as that’s what you got to do with your own business. With our caregiver, who is not a legal citizen yet, qualifies for our mat leave. Mind blown, cue the jealous green eye.
Not to mention is now tax time and everyone is asking for their tax slips – not my regular employees they are angels – but the nannies that we have had (the first one also got pregnant and left us last year). I have done everything right on my part in getting the paper work in, way way way before the deadline is due. I know our government has received it but they haven’t released the information to the nannies, so I have constant cries from the nannies needing these documents but it is out of my hand until Canada post delivers the papers to the girls. And I don’t want to get all political and cry foul, but my government is just giving way too much out for essentially free – no wonder my individual taxes are so much. I have so much more I could air grievances out about this topic in itself but then I don’t want to be judged for things that I think is unfair. I do work hard and I want to work so it is what it is.
Then of course is the business deal and like I had mentioned earlier when talking about making Seitan, I literally feel I was making a deal with the devil. The whole thing of my situation is that I am entitled to feel and act as the boss and employer – that is what I bought right? But there will be aspects in the short term where I will have an employee essentially calling the shots. I had to do it this way as I wouldn’t get a very imperative part that I needed.
All of this has been running through my head non stop for like three months straight. As much as I feel used, I know that the better time will now start to show itself. I have paid my dues so to speak with the last three years and I am ready to finally be this business owner 100%. There has been another aspect underlying all these issues, because of course when it rains it has to pour, but I can’t get into that for just another few weeks!!! Man cliff hangars right?
And then onto the photo challenge. I realized yesterday that if I don’t take a photo prior to being on the computer then I won’t have a picture to post for you that day – that means I may have to do more of the ‘photo dumps’ or have a delay on the photo of the day.
Sorry for the word dump.