Starting the Week Anew?

To start things off, I have already failed my March Photo conquest.  I forgot to take pictures Thursday, Friday, and Sunday.

I did take on Saturday March 8:



The weather has hopefully turned for the better (ie. Spring) and so due to kiddo’s incredible crankiness all weekend long we spent an hour outside doing a bit of a sleigh ride and then playing on some playground equipment.  Today when I woke up it was already 0 out!!


I really hope my stress levels from last week and beyond start to decrease. That might not happen for a tad as we already have to find new childcare for the kiddo.  You may remember last week I had posted that we found a day home for him and I felt really good about it.  After his first day, I went to pick him up and he was happy, was still enjoying playing with their toys, the day home provider said it was a great day, sure he didn’t nap but he was an ‘easy’ kid.  Fast forward to the very next day Thursday, he was a crank the entire day.  It started when I dropped him off he didn’t want to let me go.  I somewhat expected this as that happened last year when we had initially changed things up.  I knew that this would probably happen for a few days but he will then get used to the new arrangements and be okay.

When I picked him up on Thursday, you could tell he wasn’t happy.  He was cuddling up on the couch with one of their blankets and as soon as he saw that it was me he was all “mommy, mommy, mommy” and grabbing his outer wear to leave.  The day home provider said it was like this all day and my kiddo hit her kiddo twice.  The way she stated it, it sounded like my kiddo did it on purpose and more hard.  When I got home as I was placing his diapers from small wet bag to the big wet bag (we do cloth) I realized he hadn’t pooped all day, which my kid is really really really regular.  So I figured it was a little that among other things like possible two year molars trying to make an appearance.  That night hubby came home from doing his work and said he would look after the kiddo the next day anyways even though I wanted the kiddo to go back to get used to it.

Then late Saturday night, I get a message from the girl essentially stating my kid isn’t a good fit.  I know my kid is a handful, he is a very high-needs type of kid.  I know part of our issues is that we have just had one on one kind of help since he was born (for the exception of about 7 weeks of playing with other kids) but he can really be a handful.  I know having a cranky kid all day long isn’t fun and especially when it isn’t your own kid.  I felt a huge surge of stress when I saw that message (which was at 4:00 am as kiddo woke up screaming from either a nightmare or teething) and was like ‘How could she do this to me!’.  But, then I did calm down and as much as the parent should feel if the environment is a good fit for her kid (which I really did think it was) the provider should also say so too.  If my kid is too much to handle, I would rather her tell me know instead of letting it go on and then she gets upset at the kiddo and something else happens to him.

So this week, I have to furiously find a new day home for him which I am worried that this is just going to repeat itself (the providers not liking him) forcing us to do another nanny situation which I just know with our odds will turn into a 3 out of 3 girls getting pregnant.  We will have to do that eventually anyways, but it is quite expensive.

The only silver lining (if you can call it that) is that yesterday, hubby took kiddo to the farm to have his baba look after him for two days while hubby works giving me some needed time to myself.  I got to work out yesterday when I wanted to (a little 5 mile run on the treadmill — and today due to the lovely weather, after work I am going to run OUTSIDE!!), I got to sleep in this morning, although once I was ready for work I was quite lonely as I had nobody to speak with or provide breakfast for or anything like that.  If you can believe it, last night was my third night away from the kiddo in all of his 21 months of existence on earth.  Tonight will be #4.  It’s crazy to think that that is all I have allowed kiddo to be away from me, which probably also adds to his mommy issues when I have to leave him at a day home so it is all connected.  Therefore at the end of the day, I am to blame for his issues! Ah well, tis being a mom.


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