** PS. I’m still taking a bit of a blog hiatus, too much stuff to get into right now, but had to at least say Happy Birthday to a boy that kept saying “Birthday Cake Right NOW!”
I’m going to take a few days off from the blog. I would say I have had the F5 of all tornado producing storms here at work. I’m greatly stressed to say the least. Not only has our server died for the trillionth time, we can’t get a new one for about a week while waiting for some parts to come in. To top it off, I have some personnel issues happening at work that is just becoming ugly. I know there is an end to that within a few months, but my worrier at heart is not being settled!
Anyways, hope everyone else is enjoying the first week in June.
As much as I am a New Year’s Resolution-er fallen of the band wagon-er, I was thinking to myself about a few things that I want to start getting into the habit of. These ones aren’t as crazy as the traditional resolutions but I do know that I will feel better if I do employ them into my daily life.
– Get into a better habit of nightly and even in the morning of brushing the kiddo’s teeth. We do it fairly often but not as often as I know we should. We don’t offer any kind of juice or sugary beverage which I think is extremely linked to terrible teeth but I always worry and have nightmares about it. Even though I do not work at all with teeth, I see a lot of ages 2-5 year olds that either have those darkened rotting teeth or a complete metal bar that has taken the place of those rotting teeth. Not a nice sight to see.
– Less soy. This one is a hard one. We don’t regularly eat tofu or edamame, but the amount of soy lecithin and other soy by-products that are in processed food is crazy (or not even that processed is crazy). My skin has been quite a bit better since stopping using my SPF face lotion on it, and although my hormones will not be stable for a while, I do believe that my genetics is very sensitive to things that may be estrogenic or even testosterone-genic. Soy has been known to have estrogenic qualities so I want to see if that helps.
– Get out of the house after work but before supper. With kiddo’s day care schedule, they do have a later snack which means he is not hungry for supper until a little bit later – plus I find he eats so well at day care that a lot of times, he could care less about supper anyways. I want to get out with him on those nice days for a little stroller walk to the park and spend some time out side. (It would also be nice if we could get our backyard finished and fenced in so we could play out there).
– Meal plan
– Start to get a list of freezer meals. I wouldn’t start creating them yet as I wouldn’t want them in the freezer that long but at least to get a list so that in mid August I can get pre-cooking.
– Not necessarily a ‘goal’ per say, but I want to get a new pump. I do have a good one already, but I want one that is just a higher grade and less clean up with all the parts…
Do you have any goals?
I know a lot of people go to Hawaii, and yes, I am one of them too. I have actually been to Hawaii 5 times. Once when I was in grade 5. Then again when I was in Grade 11 (when it was the 1999-2000 New Year’s debacle and my parents had decided what a better place to be if the world does decide to stop turning). After I finished grad school but before I graduated in 2005, then again in 2011 when I got engaged, and then another one in 2012 when we went with my family and (at the time) boyfriend for a little baby-moon.
I have been to Maui (great place if you just want to relax), Oahu (busy busy busy so if you like traffic and shopping you can go there), and the big Island (which has many areas to it to sight see but not a lot of places to just lounge on the sand).
Here is a collection over the years (which I only have photos from the last three times as I don’t have time to scan and upload the first two… yes call me lazy over here I do not care! 🙂 )
The conference I went to was really good. They had great speakers (some better than others) but the content was very interesting. I hope to cliff notes some of that probably in a later post as some of the themes are very good to place into regular life ‘lessons’.
This is not that post.
This is a post about how I feel about my social life.
I really don’t have one. Yes I have a kid. Yes I have another one on the way. My home situation doesn’t make it easy to leave the kid for the evening to get out and do the stuff I did prior to having kids. I also have a mental stopping block that because I spend so much time away from the kiddo during the day that I want to spend as much time as I can when I am at home so I have trouble breaking the cycle, part of it is my fault and I 100% acknowledge that.
That being said, I had a friend that I went to school with also go to this conference. This is a friend that we have in the past always tried to get together (more so me doing the asking and scheduling) with not a lot of reciprocating on their end. Part of me believes it is because we are in the exact same field and very realistically each others direct competition where we live as we live in the same town. I had an inkling that they maybe at this conference and I hope they would be so we could finally catch up.
Well, low and behold, I was sitting in a spot in one of the rooms waiting for the next speaker and this person comes right in and sits next to me (I mean that is what everyone does when going to a speaker). They started to make the usual small talk when you think you are sitting beside someone you don’t know, and the boom it was my friend! It was probably bound to happen but just talk about coincidence! We had a little chat prior to the speaker starting and I’ll admit I was nervous – why should I be though? I’m sure they weren’t. After that speaker it was lunch so I did ask if I could eat lunch with them and who they were there with. And then this is where I felt really awkward as they had people from their work there and so I felt like I was intrusive and not that I was asking any questions about their work activities or anything like that, I felt like I was being a spy and that is not what I want.
I have always wanted those in my profession in my town to have a good professional relationship and a one of positiveness. Because of what happened when I first rolled into town, I always feel there is a bit of bad blood between my side and their side of things. I know this is silly and both sides (for the most part) are happy with how things turned out. I know for myself I feel like I have done a lot of penance for the last few years and finally things are better for me at my job.
What I felt it boiled down to as I drove away from the conference on the last day, is that I am jealous of their camaraderie. There was a group of them relatively the same age and getting along great. I didn’t bring anyone and at work, sure I get along great with those who work for me but I would never hang out with them after work. That is a thing I probably did for myself, I’m the boss so I figure they wouldn’t want to hang out with me at work, but at the same time I have a big group of people much younger than me and the other set is older than me. No one is my age. So I just feel lonely.
I know this is a theme in my life right now and having a kid didn’t help me get out there and be more social in my outside conference life. I know there are mommy and me groups, but as you can guess it, they are when I am working so I can’t even get involved with that.
Like I said I hope to have a happier content tomorrow. I’m just in a slight funk right now that I know I have to get out of.
Sorry for the little delay there. I had a pretty busy weekend (I went to a conference) and then when I came back to work we had another day with major server issues. Not a great thing to have when most all of the business workings is on that server… Not cool technology, not cool.
As I said I had a conference on the weekend. And it was pretty great. I learned a little bit to implement back into my business and I always feel so refreshed after those (except I need a few days to take my regular weekend relaxing hours, but that will have to wait until this next weekend). Even though I said I had a great time, I have a few fairly major gripes over the weekend.
One was I got a family member to do the baby sitting as hubby was ‘this’ close to finishing seeding for the season so he would be unable to. They had asked for a list of what to do, when to give food, things like that, to which I obliged. When I came home, roughly around 5 pm, they had said that kiddo had just woken up from a 4 hour nap. That.never.happens.ever. I was a little shocked as he never does that, on the weekends he barely naps with me around anyways and even at day care they have usually two hour or less kind of naps. They did feel bad when they saw how my mouth dropped (I was trying to form nice words to not show how much of a controller I am) as they didn’t know if they “could wake a sleeping baby”. I was also a little shocked as 1) Although I didn’t write wake up before 4 or something like that which yes that fault is due to me I did write second snack usually at 4. 2) Sure I wouldn’t be able to answer the phone to answer a question but there is text so if you really are unsure, ask.
This made me upset as when our usual bedtime rolled around, I wanted to go to sleep but I knew the kiddo would not want to for a few more hours, so it just made me cranky. I also tried my hardest not to get mad at the baby sitter as they were doing it for free, and I know how I get so very Type-A personality on a lot of things and so I just tried to be very light about it.
And not to always gripe about family, but since we were around a lot of family members this weekend, a lot of things were just getting on my nerves (probably related to the lack of quality sleep I get) but there would be so many times when I got back home that certain food would be offered by a grandma and I would flat out say ‘no’ or ‘we just ate’ or ‘he doesn’t need that’ but it’s like they cannot hear me even though I said it so that everyone could hear. Which also reminds me, this person also took kiddo off my hands for a few hours on Friday night since I did not ask them to babysit in the first place (they usually have errands to run on the weekends and church goings to so I knew I could not 100% rely on them for full weekend coverage so I did ask elsewhere) but they only really did the evening because I had asked someone else. And then, type A coming back again, they said they would only be out an hour prior so that we could go to bed. 90 minutes rolled by and so I went out to get him as it was 8 pm and we had to get started on relaxing prior to bed (if kiddo gets too worked up, good luck going to sleep).
So again I had to take a step back, bite my tongue as they were doing something nice but just got did not keep track of time (which how can you when you are outside not wearing a watch). When I did go get him, they were giving him a crap loaded granola bar. One that does not have a lot of good stuff in it, and of course they say “Oh you were not supposed to see that”. And I’m like excellent, thank you, no wonder he always has the worst bowel movements when you look after him. But it is family and grand parents so I can’t get so upset outwardly even though I am screaming inside.
Anyways, I think I will end my rant for the day here. I will come back again tomorrow with more quips/gripes about the conference and then hopefully end the week on a little happier note. Probably after you see tomorrows post, you will think I am in a depressive state which is a little true.
I know the cliche is that the second go around for pregnancy goes faster, and well, that is truly the case here! I’m even having troubles really knowing which week I am. This probably started because last time I had to reschedule a prenatal appointment and even though I still see my Doc when I am the same amount of weeks since I see her the following week I feel like I’m not really 24 weeks just yet, but I am, I am.
I’m going to start doing more of a structured-ness post to this as I have seen on many other preggo bloggers sites, so without further adieu:
Workouts/Runs: Starting to get less and less. I did do a very successful (in my mind) 5 K run the other weekend and with the extra support band I bought, I still feel good when running (no weird jiggly feeling as the baby bounces up and down) but I just tire easily. I’m also trying to get out with the stroller more which adds a lot of resistance and so I just can’t run straight with the stroller which is okay. The kiddo and I are just getting out there to get out there and enjoy the weather. I still work up quite a sweat even when walking fast so I feel good about that. I have purchased some pre/post natal DVDs and have only used one once… been meaning to do more of that.
Sleep: Sucks. But then again it always has for the last few years… I am not getting up to go the bathroom a whole lot like last time – Doc thought maybe it was a asymptomatic UTI which because the kidneys ureters get bigger (or whatever they are called) could lead to a large infection and be bad for both of us. I did do some cultures which came out negative so who knows. At least I know I get longer stretches of sleep this go around until my belly gets larger and puts on more pressure. Insomnia is about the same, I get at least one episode a week where I cannot fall asleep for 3-4 hours a night…
Eats: We are trying to get better on this as I am starting to do some meal planning so that it won’t be just quick fast meals – which I know you can make a lot of things fast and healthy so the last few months are all on me.
Movement: Hit or miss. This time around I have an anterior placenta which means an extra layer of cushion to feel any movement. I know with Kiddo I felt him way earlier and way often by this point. As this one gets bigger you will just because they are bigger, I just have to wait. The anterior placenta completely makes sense as when I went for my first pre-natal at 12 weeks, it took like 5 minutes to find the heartbeat which scared both the Doc and myself as with kiddo he was RIGHT there – those moments until you find it always make you second guess yourself if you are actually pregnant or not.
Weight: I am up 17 pounds. The first go around I was up only 10, so even though my body is doing what it should be doing and I really am not ‘crazy’ with the eats, I don’t feel great about this amount but there is nothing I can do to really change it (or like diet I should say). Once I see my doctor we will see if she is worried about it or not. I know I am not as active this time (even though we spent a good 4-5+ hours outside every day on the weekend running around the farm which really does count as active – and I still can pick up my 30 pound boy easily – which totally counts as heavy lifting right? 😉 ). I’m trying not to stress too much about it even though when I read loads of birth boards talking about “How much have you gained” and those that gain a lot they always warn “It’ll just be that much harder to lose after the baby as right now the baby maybe weighs like a pound so this is all me.
Symptoms: I wasn’t going to add this in as I don’t really have a lot of symptoms per say, but I think there is a bit of a flu bug being passed around right now. I have had an insane headache for about three days and it’s one of those vascular kinds where when you stand up it throbs but if you stay still it’s okay (or even roll over in bed kind of deal). I have also felt a little nauseous –> even woke up yesterday around 5 am feeling so hungry that I was almost to the point of if I don’t eat right now I will vomit kind of deal — as well I have been getting bursts of terrible indigestion. Sure it really could be related to being pregnant but I overheard the ladies at work stating how they were feeling and I was like ‘Hmmm…”
Thoughts: I’m already starting to worry when #2 gets here how #1 will react. He is such a momma’s boy that, oh boy we have so much cut out for us. I also worry about our limited time together as a two-some and want to cherish these moments all that I can. It’s not as scary going from 1 to 2 as much as it was going from 0 to 1, I know way more this time around. I’m also scared to be able to find good help when I go back to work and how that person will be able to take care of a 6 week old and a crazy 2 1/2 year old. I am a big worrier at heart.
Now for the pictures:
And for comparison last time Week 22-24
What’s a little funny, I sort of look the same from the side, but from the front, this pregnancy is going all into my hips/butt area. I know this as when I get out of my car, my hips hit the steering wheel and these settings have not changed since I got my car (prior to pregnancy the first time). I also feel the gain is a lot in my face but I’m sure this happened last time too.
And for fun when taking the belly photos – kiddo wanted to join in too. He was trying to hide within my skirt: